Tuesday 22 February 2005

Self image.

I'm usually good with self image, seeing myself more-or-less as I am, with just a little flattery and self deception.

On Saturday I went to a friend's 40th birthday party. While there, I met her sister for the first time. Now the wife of our recently-ex 'pastor' was already talking to her, and since Mary is a very good friend in her own right I insinuated myself into the conversation through my familiarity with her.

Now Mary is a good looking woman, but she is in her early-mid 60s. After she'd wandered off the lady engaged in conversation asked if we were married.

There's about 20 years between us :-?

Now I starting to wonder (and feel - actually I've been feeling it for a long time) that I'm getting old. Girls now feel able to relax and talk to me, which is nice but sends all the wrong messages. People even begun to defer to me and show respect.

Most of my normal male drives are intact, if a little diminished (thank goodness) and I'm still reasonably fit and slim. I STILL want to play guitar outrageously loud and in an antisocial manner. Nuts - I almost dress like a teenager most of the time I'm not at work. Must be that darned bald head, grey hair and wrinkles round the eyes. That and the fact that I'm polite and moderately considerate, I guess.

If I was a nonnie I think I'd have a sports car and a dolly bird by now.

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